Don’t Tap Dance for a Man

Posted on January 1, 2012 in Relationships by Sandra Bienkowski

Too many women give up their power.

I know because I used to be one of them. You want to meet THE ONE. You secretly want your life to emulate a romance movie—minus the drama. You want the ideal relationship so much, you see dream man when he isn’t really there. Or you wait for him to magically turn into Mr. Romance, ignoring that little voice in your head that whispers—This isn’t right. Maybe, like me, you idealize the person you are dating, using your creative brain to give him positive attributes he doesn’t actually possess.

So, you do what any rational person does. You tell girlfriends, “This is it. He’s the one.” Later, when you think back on that declaration, it’s downright cringe worthy.

If you feel like a private investigator piecing together evidence that the man you are in a relationship with is really into you, you have given up your power. It’s like handing your fate over to someone else. You should be asking, Am I into him? Why give the power to a man to play judge and jury while you play lawyer, making your case? What you think, want and feel counts. And it should matter more to you than what someone else thinks of you.

If the person you are in a relationship with is really into you, it won’t be a mystery. You won’t have to figure it out. Authentic relationships—-those that have a shot at going the distance–mean two people openly communicate their desires.

If you silently carry around a wish for your relationship and never give it words, you are surrendering your power. Don’t you deserve to have exactly what you want?

Power means realizing you are more important than any relationship. It means being strong enough to ask for what you want and believing you deserve it. Keeping your power means if you are settling for less than what you want or not getting what you want at all–you should walk. While you may lose a relationship, you will gain a more important relationship with yourself.

Take back your power by giving yourself a voice.

Sandra Bienkowski

A few words about me
Sandra Bienkowski

Sandra Bienkowski is a nationally published writer and a fun enthusiast, believing every minute of every day is an opportunity to live your best life.

3 Comments for this entry
Kim Thompson
January 2, 2012

Another great article! I especially love your analogy about being the judge and jury of your own life. The final verdict: I will decide!

Sandra Bienkowski
January 2, 2012

You are so supportive! Thank you!

January 25, 2012

Hello! Just want to say thank you for this interesting article! =) Peace, Joy.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *