Get Real

Posted on May 31, 2012 in Fun by Sandra Bienkowski

“I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.” –Chelsea Handler

My favorite people are blunt. I worked with a sales rep once who told me, “You are pretty, but you’d look so much better if you lost 20 pounds.” Some people might punch the guy for uttering such a sentence. I laughed. He was kind of a spacey guy and I knew he wasn’t trying to be mean. It gave me a little jolt for sure and woke me up a bit.

I love people who put it all out there.

I’m not saying I want people to roll out the criticisms in my direction. I just prefer people who are blunt and speak their minds. It is way easier than dealing with people who are constantly managing their appearance, reciting (and repeating) lines from their resume, or trying to hide imperfections. People who are transparent usually are funny as hell.

Consider these sentences from some of my friends …

I had a boob job.

I broke up with him because he kept calling his mom when he was sick … and I live with him!

I ate a pint of Ben & Jerry’s last night.

Sometimes being a mom sucks.

A little Botox isn’t that bad.

I was a little slutty in college before I settled down.

Did you hear about those moms who bring wine in a thermos to the playground?

Hilarious, right? Real people are refreshing.

When you are real, you are broadcasting to everyone else that it’s okay for them to be real too—scales, skeletons and all. Ironically, by showing flaws or foibles openly, the real deal peeps exude confidence. It’s as if they say, Hello world, here I am good, bad and ugly. Love me anyway!

Real people are self-accepting.

Being real is like exhaling; you can relax. Easy breezy. There’s no pretentious Facebook-like competition to see who has the better life. Or marketing spin designed to impress you.

Real people are likeable.

One of my closest friends is the real deal on caffeine. I never have to guess how she is feeling or thinking. I told her I want her to be my accountability partner because she’s a little mean … like the time at a dance class when she told me to take the scrunchie out of my hair because the 80s are over. Everyone should have a friend who cares enough about them not to sell them a bunch of crap.

Real people are helpful … and sometimes brutally honest.

My psychologist who I credit for helping me overcome depression when I was in my twenties (with talk therapy) was totally blunt. In one of our first sessions he said, “You need to shatter all of your mirrors. Stop using people to reflect how you should feel about yourself, and come up with your own definition of who you are.” Ouch.

Real people save time.

Recently I was whining to a friend about how I have piles of notes, but I haven’t made any significant progress in writing my book. Instead of indulging my excuses, she looked at me and asked, “Is there a reason why you can’t have an outline finished by next week?” After my feeble, “No” she said, “Just write your freaking book.”

I’d take a blunt person any day over someone with a thick layer of fake or pretend perfect. And for the record, the only thing fake about me is my nails. I hope to keep it that way.

Sandra Bienkowski

A few words about me
Sandra Bienkowski

Sandra Bienkowski is a nationally published writer and a fun enthusiast, believing every minute of every day is an opportunity to live your best life.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *