Talk About It

Posted on May 24, 2012 in Fulfillment, Self Improvement by Sandra Bienkowski

“There is a safe place to fall. Connect, embrace, love somebody, just one person and then spread that to two, and to as many as you can and you’ll see the difference it makes.” -Oprah

You know that person who sits down next to you on a plane and before you’ve reached a comfortable cruising altitude you’ve heard his/her entire life story … including the sordid details? Okay, that person is weird. Rolling out intimate details to a random stranger is a little awkward and inappropriate—especially if the conversation is only flowing in one direction.

But you know what else is a little strange? People who are surrounded by family and friends and don’t talk at all—about the most important stuff. Maybe I had one too many stiff dinners growing up where the entire conversation was focused on the food we were eating, but I’ve never understood why people are so bottled and buttoned up.

Life could be better if we all talked about what matters.

It takes a tremendous amount of energy to keep your thoughts, secrets, pain, fears and challenges to yourself. It can isolate you. It may give you the false belief that you are the only one who is thinking, feeling or experiencing _______________ (fill in the blank), but it’s not true.

Not to get all Debbie Downer, but when I hear of tragic suicides on the news, someone will invariably say: I just wish __________ would have talked to me. Or, I wish I would have known.

If people talk, even when it’s hard or painful, stories and solutions can be shared. Maybe we can have more connection and community, and less disconnection and depression. We just might discover there is compassion in the world, and we can focus more on being real and less on maintaining appearances.

Talking can unlock a more fulfilling life. Give it a try. Share your internal struggle with your external circle—even if it’s painful.

Or embarrassing.
Or makes you admit to a less than perfect life.
Or you feel flawed and exposed.
Or it hurts.

Just start talking about it and watch how your life changes … for the better.

Before you dismissively say, “No, thanks” or “Not for me,” consider that not talking is a happiness and energy vampire—it will suck both away. Once you begin talking, you will find …

You are not alone.
Solutions exist all around you.
Other people could be carrying your answers.
You can liberate yourself from pain.
You will free up mental space and energy to live a richer life.
You may help others who can relate.
You can process, let go and heal.

Pain thrives in silence. Talking is your escape hatch. Take it.

Sandra Bienkowski

A few words about me
Sandra Bienkowski

Sandra Bienkowski is a nationally published writer and a fun enthusiast, believing every minute of every day is an opportunity to live your best life.

One Comment for this entry
Tonya Young
May 24, 2012

I want to share this with the WORLD Sandra!!


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