What’s Your One Decision?

Posted on April 7, 2012 in Fulfillment, Happiness by Sandra Bienkowski

“The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.” –Flora Whittemore

Have you ever thought about the power that exists in a single decision? One decision can change your life. A single decision changed mine.

I was four months into my search for my birth mother and I was getting frustrated that I hadn’t cracked the code. I was going through my list of town clerks using the process of elimination, but I didn’t know if I was on the right track. From the non-identifying information the adoption agency sent me, I knew my birth grandmother worked as a town clerk the year I was born. I was born in Syracuse, so I made a list of the town clerks in all surrounding counties.

I went home from work that night wondering if I was getting any closer to finding my birth mother. I grabbed the town clerk list, determined to cross off more names. With bits of non-identifying information I formulated my questions and made some phone calls. Soon, a town historian was answering all my questions with a Yes.

Do you know of a Helen Clark who worked as a town clerk?


Do you happen to know if a Helen Clark had eight children?


Do you know if her father owned a hardware store?


Does she have a sister who is a nun at a Catholic College?

Yes. Until the town historian finally said, “I think you have found who you are looking for.”

I couldn’t believe it. Time froze and I froze. It was one of those rare moments when I realized that my life would never be the same again. Whatever would unfold next, I couldn’t unring a bell.

And life did change, dramatically. I thought I was fulfilling my curiosity to know who brought me into the world, and why I was placed for adoption. I didn’t know I was wandering into a story with many chapters. My birthparents are married. I have a full brother and sister. I have three half siblings, and lots of extended family. And they all warmly welcomed me.

I often think about what I would have missed if I never made that decision to search. The people I’d never know. The healing I’d never feel … or give. The joyous days I’d never have. The relationships, priceless memories and answers I wouldn’t have now.

It made me realize the power that exists in a single decision. One decision can enrich your life beyond measure.

For me, my decision gave me …

the gift of 11 years with my birthfather.

the peace of mind in knowing my two mothers spoke.

the blissful experience of having both of my families at my wedding.

The list goes on and on.

Live with the awareness that a single decision can change everything. Realize the power in making just one decision. You can unlock blessings. Flood your life with fulfillment. And you can discover the tremendous influence you have over your own life.

Your one decision can be about anything—a relationship, your health, your work, where you live or a goal. What’s the one decision that could positively change the course of your life?

Usually your intuition—that little voice whispering to you—has the answer. What’s it saying?

Sandra Bienkowski

A few words about me
Sandra Bienkowski

Sandra Bienkowski is a nationally published writer and a fun enthusiast, believing every minute of every day is an opportunity to live your best life.


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