A few words about me
Sandra Bienkowski is a nationally published writer and a fun enthusiast, believing every minute of every day is an opportunity to live your best life.
Posted on November 16, 2015 in Fun by Sandra Bienkowski
gratitude, Live Happy magazine, thankfulness
These simple exercises will improve your sense of wellbeing all year.
We have read it over and over again in positive psychology research, from Martin Seligman to Shawn Achor: If there is a one-word answer to the secret of happiness, it is gratitude. Gratitude may just be the strongest tool in the kit when it comes to pulling ourselves and others out of a funk, or rebooting a terrible blue mood. Here are some simple exercises that can enhance your sense of gratitude year round.
1. Savor
Slow down! Stop, breathe, take notice, and delight in the present moment. Let yourself get excited about little things. Cultivate tiny moments of joy, and notice those times when they spontaneously happen.
2. Plan experiences
What can you plan this season that will make your holidays more memorable? Be purposeful about planning and creating special experiences, and you will reap the rewards.
Is there a tradition you can renew? An activity you can plan with your family in town that will create a cherished memory? It could be as simple as taking a photo of extended family or tossing a football together in the backyard.
Read the rest of this article on Live Happy:
life-changing questions, Live Happy magazine, personal growth
When we think about something that has the power to change our lives, we usually think big: a new job, a move across country, a relationship beginning or ending. Sometimes something small but meaningful can change the trajectory of our lives, such as a powerful book, a movie or even a gift.
It may be surprising, but even a question—complex, pointed, and mulled over with care—can change the direction of your life. Take a look at the 10 questions below and see if one or two of them resonate with you.
1. Am I really happy right now?
We have a tendency to put our happiness on hold by telling ourselves, “When I get married I will be happy,” or, “When I graduate, I will be happy,” when we could permit ourselves to be happy now and enjoy each day, says Dr. Srikumar Rao, author of Happiness At Work and head of The Rao Institute. As a second part to this question, he suggests asking yourself:What is keeping me from being happy at this instant?
Read the rest of this article on Live Happy:
Posted on November 2, 2015 in Personal Growth by Sandra Bienkowski
depression, personal growth, therapy
When I was a teenager, I told my parents I wanted to see a psychologist.
At the time, I was dating a guy who lived up the street. We had an exciting relationship but I was holding on too tight. With my shaky self-image, I pictured him breaking up with me and it felt like falling into a dark, bottomless well. I had no identity without him, and I knew the way I was feeling wasn’t healthy or normal.
I wanted help.
But asking for it wasn’t easy. I’d come home from school to find either a beautiful, kind woman at the front door or a drunk, disheveled, hateful monster (depending on whether my mom had started drinking vodka during the day). My childhood was filled with unpredictability, drama, screaming, and insults. My dad didn’t protect me — he was also lost in denial. My sister and I lived in fear for years.
But once my dysfunctional parents agreed that I should talk to someone (because I was adopted, they convinced themselves that I had “faulty genes”), I started talk therapy that changed the trajectory of my life.
Read the rest of this article on MindBodyGreen:
Posted on October 27, 2015 in Personal Growth by Sandra Bienkowski
fight anxiety, get calm, meditation, overcome anxiety, quiet anxiety
Sometimes anxiety is just a troubling feeling that something isn’t right. Anxiety can show up as panic attacks, excessive worry or trouble sleeping, and it can be a nuisance or downright debilitating. To help you shift to a state of ease, we’ve rounded up 10 ways to quiet down your anxiety naturally.
1. Eat your breakfast
Skipping breakfast can make your blood sugar low and increase the likelihood of anxiety. Start your day with a bowl of oatmeal with strawberries or blueberries for a powerhouse combination of complex carbs to boost your serotonin levels and antioxidants to protect your body at a cellular level.
2. Practice meditation
The science is in and the deliberate practice of mindfulness meditation—paying attention to the present moment without judgment—can lessen stress and anxiety as well as boost creativity and improve productivity. Enjoy all the benefits by mastering the art of clearing your mind.
Posted on October 18, 2015 in Gratitude, Happiness by Sandra Bienkowski
Live Happy
Poor Mondays. The black sheep day of the week, they always get a bad rap. Here are six tips to help you love, instead of dread, Mondays.
1. Don’t buy into the Monday hype
If you believe Mondays are terrible, you might look for little things to prove your case. You stub your toe in the morning and automatically think, “Yep, here we go, this whole day is going to be a disaster.” How can you enjoy your Monday if you think Mondays are doomed? Don’t program your brain to scan for the bad stuff. Change your outlook to view Monday as the start of your spectacular week.
2. Make Mondays easier
What can you do on Sunday to make your Monday go more smoothly? Put outfits out for the kids ahead of time? Make a dish in the slow cooker to heat up Monday evening? Make sure your fridge it stocked up? Review your calendar for the week on Sunday night and make your to-do list for the week. Then get a good night’s sleep so you can start the week refreshed.
Posted on October 11, 2015 in Personal Growth by Sandra Bienkowski
alleviate stress, reduce stress, stress
A little stress can be good for you. It keeps you engaged and makes you feel alive—like finishing a project you are passionate about, or learning a new skill. But long-term, chronic stress can take a toll on your health.
If you stop and realize that stress is something you create based on your reaction to life circumstances (and not necessarily the circumstances themselves), you can play a big role in reducing your stress level.
Dial down your stress with these simple solutions for calming and re-energizing that were in front of you the whole time.
1. Take notice of your happiest days
Do you ever have a day that seems like it was professionally choreographed just to please you? Everything flows perfectly. You can’t believe how effortlessly your day is unfolding, and you just feel great.
Take notice of what you are doing on that day. What has made your outlook so bright? If you can pinpoint the specifics of what makes you happiest (getting a good night’s sleep, anticipating a date night, finishing a project), you can proactively replicate some of those things.
Doing what makes you naturally happy alleviates stress. Capture what brightens your days by writing it down. Soon you’ll have your own go-to recipe book for a less-stressed out, more contented you.
Live Happy, transitions
Change happens. Be prepared with a resilient mindset.
Our lives are a series of transitions. The weekend eventually ends and Monday comes. We get married. Summer becomes fall. Vacation ends and we have to go back to work. We happily anticipate milestones such as graduating from college, getting a job or buying a new house. But once an experience ends, our mood can take a dip.
Is it possible to navigate change with a sense of resilience while remaining happy? The experts weigh in:
1. Realize transitions are a matter of perspective
“There is no such thing as positive or negative transition; it fully depends on the way you think,” says Michael Mantell, Ph.D., a San-Diego based psychologist and the author of Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: P.S. It’s All Small Stuff.
“If it weren’t for transitions, we wouldn’t move, change, be agile or face new opportunities … So I never, ever regret having to return to work. Instead, I always think, ‘Wow, what a great vacation this work gave me the opportunity to take, and how grateful I am for the vacation and the job.’ ” If you dread coming back to work, you are setting yourself up for depression and anxiety, he says.
Susan Fletcher, Ph.D., a Dallas-based psychologist, says accepting life’s inevitable ups and downs can make transitions easier. “Peaks and valleys are to be expected,” the Working in the Smart Zone author says. “That doesn’t mean the good times are always vacation and the bad times are everything else. Even on vacation, we can have the same kind of stress we have in our ordinary life.”
The key, Susan says, is knowing what works for you. “I need one full day to power down to go on vacation, so I don’t ever take a 6 a.m. flight to get the most out of vacation because then I am worthless when I get there.” Instead, she schedules midday flights and makes the journey part of the experience, stopping for lunch with her kids, playing cards on the plane and preparing to have fun when they arrive.
The same is true at the end of the trip: If you need to, take a day to decompress and do laundry, buy groceries and open mail instead of returning the night before you go back to work.
Posted on March 19, 2015 in Happiness by Sandra Bienkowski
gratitude, Happiness, international day of happiness
Did you wake up happy today? It’s the first day of spring, and the International Day of Happiness! Join the celebration!
Here are 15 Acts You Can Do Today! Use hashtag #HappyActs on social media!
If there is a one-word answer to the secret of happiness it is GRATITUDE. Here are some ways to practice gratitude daily and welcome more happiness into your life.
I hope you smile today … it’s contagious!
P.S. Follow Live Happy on Pinterest to get an instant happiness boost!
MindBodyGreen, power of stories, thankful, therapist
One email from a stranger made a difference in my life.
Here it is:
“I just read your article on MindBodyGreen. I am in awe of the timing of everything this morning. I have a had painful childhood similar to yours. I am always scared to share it with people because I am afraid of their reaction. I am afraid of them thinking that somehow that’s who I am. For most of my life it has been a secret. Yesterday, I told my alcoholic mother that I can’t be around her anymore. Feeling so much fear and anxiety this morning, and then I read your article. The timing of it is just so perfect. Your article truly helped me this morning know that my future doesn’t have to have that pain in it, and that I am on the right path.”
I read it and felt so incredibly thankful. Maybe my story gave him a little bit of hope that his future can be different from his past.
I thought: This is why I write.
His email made me feel like I am zeroed in on my purpose. It isn’t easy to be vulnerable and share my story, but if doing so can make the tiniest bit of difference in just one person’s life–it’s worth it.
Sharing my story made him feel like he is on the right path, and his email made me feel like I’m on mine.
What an incredible gift he gave me.
Here is the story I shared: The 4 Best Lessons I Learned From Seeing A Therapist In My 20s
“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” ―Brene Brown
Posted on February 25, 2015 in Self Improvement by Sandra Bienkowski
journey fat to fit, self-improvement, weight loss
Today I am 45 and fit, but I spent a good chunk of my life overweight. My weight was like a roller coaster because I never took control of it. I’ve always loved exercise, but I also love food—and I used food to comfort myself way too many times. (Picture it: Alone in my apartment, Golden Girls reruns, a pint-size of ice cream, me and a spoon.) And that was probably after a heaping plate of spaghetti with lots of Parmesan cheese covering the sauce. What finally clicked for me? I saw a picture of myself on the beach on Cape Cod.
This one: (the dreaded before picture)
That picture was my wake-up call. It’s amazing what you don’t see looking in the mirror every day.
(the after picture)
I’ve learned so much on my journey to get fit … I wrote about it on Get Healthy U, the website for national fitness trainer Chris Freytag. Read the entire story here:
What I’d Say to My Overweight Self.
